Why It’s Okay to Not be Okay



Ayla Feldman-Krainak, Staff Writer

With the pressure of society beating down on us, why is it that we always have to say we are okay? Talking to a friend recently, he asked, “How are you doing?” And to be completely honest, my day wasn’t going too well, but with today’s standards, telling someone you aren’t doing well is considered “attention seeking.” So why can’t we talk about our issues with friends or family without it seeming like we’re desperate?  


According to youmatter.suicidepreventionlifeline.org, “No one can be perfectly happy all of the time, that is not human.”  I agree with this statement 100 percent. Talking out your issues and getting feedback can be beneficial. According to  psychologytoday.com the article states, “The truth is that if someone loves you, he or she will help you deal with your dilemmas. Talking about it can help shed light on how to get through a problem. That’s also how therapy works.”


Every culture has their own “ticks.”  Foreigners often come to America confused as to why we ask, “How are you?” and not expect a truthful answer. According to Franklin Veaux, author of the relationship book More Than Two, ‘’How are you doing?’ is usually an insincere question. It’s social lubricant, not a genuine request of information”.


One example of this is when an employee asked my grandfather if he needed any help at an office supply store, my grandfather replied with, “Yes, I need to find ink for my fountain pen.”  To this, the employee responded with “Cool,” and walked away as if she expected him to have said, “No, I’m fine,” and didn’t even bother listening to his actual answer. So as you can see we tend to expect the universal answer to always be “I’m fine,” or “I’m doing ok.”


In conclusion, it’s okay to speak your mind and say when you’re not mentally or physically at your best. It’s a weird subject that we tend to “tip-toe” around like we’re walking on eggshells. If you aren’t feeling alright, then it’s better to say what’s bothering you than to hold it in and cause more damage to your self. Change the social standard and speak up.